Haw Haw Haw

UGH

2009-07-27T08:01:00.000-07:00

We're going into week 2 now.
So much for fun and laughter.
No time for that.
Gotta do work.

DO WORK.

Michelle bought me a new T-Shirt. It's pink =/
Thanks anyway, dear.
Oh right, got lotsa reading to do.
Keep checking for more updates.

Kook out.

2009-07-24T08:18:00.000-07:00

HELLO.
I am posting from Dakut's place.
We just had a bbq, and we had marshmallows. It was sticky.
Funny tho, we used toothpicks. We even had marshmallows with bbq sauce.

Ijjie: Wilson, say hi to your fans for me.

Should be leaving soon.
Stay tuned.

Kook out.

2009-07-22T08:45:00.001-07:00

Thailand 1 - 1 Liverpool

Great stuff.

2009-07-22T06:54:00.001-07:00

Today was one heck of a boring day.
Had a one hour class in the morning, then back to back 2 hour lectures. That really did the damage.
Didn't manage to have lunch with Roselyn and her friends since I had classes up till 3.30pm.
Instead, I had late lunch with Michelle at Pyramid then gave her a ride home. Hey, we only spent bout an hour together, but it's still something :P
Lotsa reading to do today. Raja gave me a call halfway through my lesson and invited me for "DoTA". Thank god lecturer wasn't looking.
Ok, enough of this stuff. I gotta get back to work. Take it easy.

Kook out.

2009-07-21T07:15:00.000-07:00

There's Owen!

:O

He is tall, and I mean TALL.

This one is for you, Chui and Chwi Lynn :P
(Biggest fans of the United veterans)

Posing for the cameras, I think

And then Rooney....

And then, the boss himself

Even got a picture of Gibson signing autographs

Since people are so impatient and keep demanding for photos, here they are. I have close to a 100 pictures as a result of "non-stop snapping". I just picked a few which I like.

Enjoy the pictures.

Kook out.

Kewl

2009-07-21T05:26:00.000-07:00

Got home from uni, decided to drive to the club (KLGCC) for some golf practice at the driving range. Dad headed off to the course and then he gives me a call. "Son, Manchester United is right in front of me and I'm having a chat with Ferguson and this unidentified player (He meant Thomas Kuszcak)"
I dumped my 5-iron into the golf back and ran straight to the course, only to be greeted by men in yellow Nike tops. Well, more like me greeting them haha. I only got to shake hands with most of the players (INCLUDING GIGGS AND SCHOLES). However, I managed to have a quick chat with Evans, O'Shea and I even had a few words with ol' Fergie!
Best day of my life.

PS: I catched a glimpse of my childhood hero Michael Owen too!

I'll upload those pictures this Friday. Stay tuned!

Kook out.

1 Down, 1 To Go

2009-07-18T21:50:00.000-07:00

You know what, 3-2 is something to be proud of.
So yeah, they say United players are tired and all, but losing by a single goal after 90 minutes, let aside scoring TWO against the English Champions, not too bad eh? Mind you, Amri's first goal was a cracker. I almost pissed in my pants. When he scored that equalizer (poor Ben Foster, I hope he does well in the next game =/ ) Ganz (sitting next to me, and he was quite impressed with Malaysia) and I were ecstatic. High five to that man, what a great moment. But yeah, of course Michael Owen came on to score the winner. Great job Michael! I don't think I'll be going for the rematch this Monday due to several reasons. Uni the next day being one of it. But I'll definitely catch the broadcast on TV, who wouldn't?
I still can't get over the fact that our national boys have improved so much. Well, most of them were from the National U-23 side, with only 4 senior campaigners in the line-up. Amri is now my favourite Malaysian player. Good for him, I hope a foreign club signs him in the future. Haha. So let's look forward to round 2 of Manchester United vs Malaysia.
I dunno bout you guys, but I CAN'T WAIT.

Kook out.

2009-07-17T17:57:00.001-07:00

Holy cupcakes. I am back! :D
You know what, this evening, 5.30 pm :
Manchester United vs A "Not So Good" Team
Be there. Cuz I'll be there too. We'll be cheering them on.
More to come when I return home.

Kook out.

Lesson

2009-05-12T01:17:00.000-07:00

With great knowledge, comes great responsibility.
Hahahaha.
The Editor

I try to do many haiku

2009-05-11T07:52:00.000-07:00

Here they are:

I once told a rhyme
To my partner in crime
"Don't steal those lime", it's not worth a dime

I like pancake
Pancake with ketchup and soya sauce
Yummy pancake

The boy fell
Tripped over a huge rock
Make better use of your eyes

I want to go to Disneyland
Been saving up for 35 years now
Still not enough

2009-05-08T08:11:00.000-07:00

Allocated time for blogging! Finally.

Well, today was action-packed.
Went to Sunway Pyramid with Tani, Vidya, and Roselyn after class.
The two sisters wanted to buy their mum a present for Mothers' Day.
They ended up buying an RM550 "GUESS" watch.
And I tell you. I saw something that literally blew my mind off. It was this silver necklace with the word "GUESS". It was RM200. Would you believe it? A damn necklace and this keychain like thing with the word GUESS carved on it. I'd rather give RM200 to a beggar.
Moving on, I got myself McFlurry from McDonalds and we had to go look at women's clothing in "Forever 21".
I swear, I had such a great time inside, I even felt like I'd be 21 for the rest of my life, until this guy came and chased me out of the shop because I had ice-cream with me. Guess they're not fans of McFlurry.
Then we waited for the bus at the bus-stop. I was laughing at a little boy who dropped his peanuts and popcorn on the uhhh... walking-path. Then we talked about guava juice, and I told them the only guava juice worth drinking is peel-fresh guava juice. Otherwise, it's rubbish.
We arrived home safely after that. How unfortunate.
The End.

Hurrah

2009-05-05T19:06:00.001-07:00

Manchester United 4 - 1 Arsenal

hu hu hu.

Story of an asshole.

2009-04-24T02:28:00.000-07:00

Yes, I don't have much time to blog.
But today is special.
I just had the most wonderful conversation in the world.
Allow me to share with you:

Me: Hi, what time you'll be home today?

STUVWXYZ: Why?

Me: What time are you coming home today?

STUVWXYZ: Why?

Me: I'm asking you a question. Can you answer me before you ask another question?

STUVWXYZ: I have the right to know why you are asking me.

Me: I have the right to tell you, you have no right to ask me why i'm asking you a question.

STUVWXYZ: You tell me first.

Me: Okay. Okay. Fuck off. Wasting my time trying to talk to you.

-End of wonderful conversation-

Yeah. Sometimes, you can't stand people who're difficult to deal with, even if they happen to be your SIBLING. Oh well, goes to show that anyone can be a jackass. I just wanted to tell her I bought some yummy dessert for her. I wanted to ask what time she'd be home so I know whether to put it in the fridge or the freezer. Sigh.
Boy who had wonderful conversation

2009-04-15T03:08:00.000-07:00

I've been MIA. I know.
But hey, tests and exams first. My finals are approaching.
Be happy I still make it an effort to post once in a while.
I can't be that "regular-blogger-guy" right now.
Just too much going on these days.
By the way, I'm gonna go get a new pair of futsal shoes next week. I really like the one Dakut gave me but heck, the shoe has a mouth. Ho ho ho.
Got work to do now.
Till the next post!
Missing in Action

2009-04-07T06:54:00.000-07:00

Okay.
Earth hour. Great.
What's next?
Are we gonna replace cars with the solar-powered buggy?
If we're gonna "Save The World", it's gonna take way more than that.
All this "switch off your lights for an hour" is crap.
Either we switch them off everyday, or we forget about it.
It's merely a publicity stunt.
Well, just my two cents for the day =P
This boy is not satisfied

2009-04-05T21:04:00.000-07:00

Dear readers / fans,
Sorry I havn't been posting lately.
Just to let you know, I've been studying HARD for my upcoming tests.
You can be assured of more posts as soon as I'm done.
The pictures will come, eventually.
Till then, wish me luck!
The Busy Blog Owner

=[

2009-03-29T21:18:00.000-07:00

Okay. I lied again. I don't have time to upload the pictures! xD
This weekend. I swear.
I lied to you. Twice.

2009-03-25T07:06:00.001-07:00

Okay. I lied, I don't have time to post and upload the pictures. How bout this weekend?
Sorry :D
Little Liar

<:o)

2009-03-24T06:57:00.000-07:00

Happy 18th Birthday blog owner.
So much to write, so little time.
I'll post it all tomorrow.
:D
Thx guys for all the wishes,
Thx Dad, Mum, Steph and Melissa for a wonderful dinner.
And OKAY. THANK YOU SUE ANN. HAPPY? :P
Birthday Kid.

2009-03-23T07:52:00.000-07:00

So, Wilson Kook wins.
Man, I'm so glad you guys would rather date me instead of these things:

I feel so flippin' good. My life is complete now.

I love all of you. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

The boy - his life is now completed?

2009-03-22T02:46:00.000-07:00

Just came home after a long drive from Melaka.
We went back to pay our respects to grandma who left us a few years ago.
I'm really tired now, so you can expect me to post nothing now, but something tomorrow.
Can't be bothered to do anything at the moment.
Only one thing matters to me now - SLEEP.
Cya.
Well-travelled boy

2009-03-19T08:20:00.000-07:00

YESSSSSSSSSSSSS!
Good news. Accounts test has been postponed to next Tuesday.... my birthday.
But who gives a damn. More time to prepare :)
I'm gonna take a shower and watch some TV, and then go to bed.
My mum bought me ALOT of food today.
I had to finish it because when I told her I was full after eating 50% of the stuff on the table, she didn't look to pleased. Forced myself to continue. I don't think I'll have breakfast tomorrow morning.
Enough of this blogging thing, you'll hear from me again soon.
I have a test on my birthday.

NOOOOOO

2009-03-18T05:39:00.000-07:00

MY HOUSE IS INFESTED WITH MOSQUITOES!
I'm gonna use an entire can of Ridsect later on. Can't stand these stupid things.
Accounts test is this Friday. AGAIN.
When will they end? Too many tests, no rest. Sigh.
I WILL use Ridsect against you!

#@&!@&!@

2009-03-16T06:47:00.000-07:00

I wasn't allowed to leave early for my Econs B test today.
Thx alot MADAM.

;@

I went in 15 minutes late, and I couldn't finish the last question. That costed me 8 marks. I can't remember what I wrote, but definately a whole lot of bullcrap.
So, screw that test anyway. It's over now.

Roselyn lost her phone and wallet today. Well she did get her wallet back. Some girl found it, on top of a hand-drying thing in the girls' toilet. Only her money was stolen tho. I still don't know if that's a good thing or not.

I'll keep you updated tomorrow.
I failed to answer the last question

2009-03-11T23:31:00.000-07:00

Haw haw haw haw haw.

Man United 2 - 0 Inter Milan

HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW
Laughing cow

2009-03-09T18:23:00.000-07:00

Hi blog!
Supposed to go for a trip to West Port today.
But all the cars are used, and mum said I had to go at 8am because she's working today.
So i gave Roselyn a call and we decided to skip. Haw haw haw.
Anyway, just had DIM SUM with Sue Ann and John. Got them to pick me up from my house.
I had the BEST fishballs in the world.
Now, I'm all alone at home. Gonna wait for dad to come home and we'll go play a round of golf!
I got a new square-headed Nike Driver. Can't wait to try that out.
I'll post again tomorrow, so till then, don't try anything naughty ;)

I skipped a trip to the ship

:@

2009-03-07T19:01:00.000-08:00

Guess what,
I'm PISSED OFF TODAY.
Not in the mood to post.
Wait till tomorrow, or some other day.

HELLO

2009-03-05T20:22:00.000-08:00

HI BLOG.
As you can see, I'm healthy now!
:D
I'm in class, and the lecturer isn't here yet.
Time to do some naughty stuff...
Haw haw haw haw
Not so sick anymore

=[

2009-03-04T00:43:00.000-08:00

Dear blog.
I'm down with a fever.
Just had my medicine, so gonna take a much needed rest!
Get well soon, Wilson.

Sickman

2009-03-02T04:18:00.000-08:00

So, Slumdog Millionaire claims multiple oscar awards?
What's all this buzz about the movie lol.
In that case, I think Cicakman 2 is capable of making a clean sweep. Seriously.

2009-03-02T02:25:00.000-08:00

A Change Of Luck
by ???? ???????

“Jason, I believe I’m cursed…” said Earl as he and his best friend walked down the sidewalk to class.
“What makes you say that?” said Jason as he rolled a penny down the sidewalk, “Do flowers and puppies wither up and die as you pass them?”
“No, but it wouldn’t surprise any…” Earl opened his mouth as if to go on, but then shut it and remained silent instead.
Earl was relatively handsome man who had just recently turned twenty-one. He was a bit taller than most of his peers, but not nearly as lanky as he had been in high school. Normally, he walked with an almost smile on his face, but on this day he wore a melancholy expression that was heightened by his dark almost shoulder length hair.
“Aww, come on Earl, you can tell me what’s eating you; unless it’s a parasite or some sort of grotesque fungus. You have got to keep that info to yourself,” said Jason as he threw a penny out into the street.
Jason was about a foot shorter than Earl, and was what he liked to call “pleasantly plump.” He had a jovial pink face that was crowned by a mop of naturally curly red hair. He was the type of guy that most every person would take an immediate liking to.
Jason casually dropped yet another penny and then said, “Well Earl… I was in a weird mood this morning. As soon as I awoke, I thought, ‘Today is a day full of promise and… passion!’ and I knew I must seize the day like a child seizes candy from a stranger in a van. Ever feel like that in the morning?”
“No…” replied Earl, “I’d have to drink about a gallon of caffeine before I felt like that. I usually seem to finally fall asleep only to be awaken five seconds later by the sun’s light as it burns my retinas. It is horrible.”
“You should really invest in some window blinds…” said Jason.
“But anyway, how does your ‘seize the day’ attitude correlate to you throwing pennies?”
“Well,” replied Jason, “I really wanted to make people happy today, and so I started thinking of all of the things that typically make people feel all warm and fuzzy inside: kittens, babies, $100 bills… But then out of the corner of my eye I saw my piggy bank and knew what I must do.”
“You… have a piggy bank?” interrupted Earl.
“Yes, and its name is Giggles Piggles, but that’s not the point. What I’m trying to say is that one of the simplest joys in life is to find a penny on the ground, to feel that the day is going to be a little better or luckier because of it.”
“And… so you’re throwing pennies on the ground to bring no doubt boundless joy to all who pick them up…”
“Precisely.”
“Pshh, who really picks up pennies these days?” asked Earl, “A dime, sure, a quarter, definitely, but a penny? I usually just see how hard and far I can kick them.”
“I usually do the same thing when I see a spider, but you’re missing my point. People want to believe a picked up penny is going to make their day better, and if they believe it hard enough, they really will feel like the day is better. By throwing pennies on the ground I feel I am having at least some small positive effect on peoples’ lives.”
“Uh huh,” replied Earl, “And more likely, a child is going to go running off into the street to pick up one of your pennies and end up getting creamed by a truck.”
“That’s not funny Earl…” said Jason.
“Sorry…” said Earl, “You’re doing an admirable thing, and I’m here being a jerk about it…”
“I know you didn’t mean anything by it, but I still couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like if that actually did happen and how I’d feel to know that by doing something I thought was good, something very bad came from it instead.”
The two boys walked on in silence for a moment before Earl said, “So yeah, about my curse… I am destined to be miserable and alone forever.”
“Nah, you’ve always got me,” replied Jason.
“Yeah, I know… but I meant in the whole ‘relationship game.’”
“Relationships are overrated: you have to spend all of your money, remember birthdays, anniversaries, Valentine’s Day… you have to turn your head away from every beautiful girl so that your girl won’t smack you… It’s really a painful thing,” said Jason.
“Yeah, but I’d like, for once, to experience love before I die horribly,” replied Earl.
“It’ll happen man, just wait it out…”
“No,” replied Earl, “It won’t. It is my curse you see… Every time I get a prospective date or anything, it inexplicably goes nowhere.”
“You’re crazy Earl; you’re not cursed, except maybe with a face that is far inferior to my gorgeous mug.”
“Nope, I’m definitely cursed… Girl after girl after girl lets me down. First there was Caitlin, who I took to dinner one time and who told me she’d love to go out again, only to never speak or look at me again. Then there was Joyce, whose cell phone mysteriously went out on her when I tried to call for our date. She acted like I hung up on her, and has treated my coldly ever since. Then my engine locked up on me when I went to pick up Mary, she shouted at me for ‘standing her up,’ and now gives me the ‘evil eye’ every time we cross paths…”
“Lame man, funny but lame…” said Jason.
“I even stooped so far as to try one of those online dating things…” said Earl.
“Your story gets lamer and lamer with every word you speak Earl.”
“I know…” replied Earl, “And of course, the online thing didn’t work out either. I think the site was either fake, or filled with internet prima donnas, because not one girl I messaged ever replied to me. But all of this pales to my latest sob story.”
“Ooo! Please tell me you tried to pay a prostitute, but she just took all of your money, kicked you in the shin, and then ran off.”
“No no, this was slightly less physically traumatizing. You see, there was this phenomenally gorgeous girl working at Gutterside Records—“
“How were her bezongas?” interrupted Jason.
“I didn’t look at the time, you see, I had just made eye contact at her and felt one of those ‘love at first sight’ feelings you always hear about.”
“But when you asked for her number, she laughed derisively, spit on your shoe, and then elbow dropped you, right?”
“Kind of… But what really happened is I was too much of a wuss to talk to her, but months later I was getting ready for the first class of this semester when I got a phone call… It was my aunt telling me that my favorite uncle, the uncle I was named after, had just died.”
“Yeah… I remember you telling me about that. It sucks man,” said Jason. “I cried for a while, but still went to my English class anyway… I needed something to take my mind off of what had just happened. I got to class, set my books down on the table, and then I heard a girl’s voice, the timbre of which reminded me of a cello’s, ask if she could sit next to me.”
“It was the record store chick wasn’t it?”
“Yes it was, her name was Lindsey, and we hit it off quick. I can’t quite explain it, but there was this sort of immediate relaxed comfort we had around each other, and we were able to talk about anything and everything. For weeks we talked like this, before and after class, and to me it felt as if fate or God had brought us together, that all of my relationships had failed before because they were not meant to be. Sadly, it seems that Lindsey and I were not meant to be either.”
“Ouch… what happened?” inquired the empathic Jason.
“Jason it’s been exactly one month since my Uncle Earl died, and this morning I received another phone call from my same aunt… She told me another of my uncles has just died.”
“Oh jeez Earl… you should skip this next class, go be with your family.”
“You know, after I got the news, I just really needed something to bring a little cheer into my life. I decided I was going to ask Lindsey to lunch, as I was just sure that she would go with me. Instead, when I asked her out after class, she just completely ignored the question and changed the subject. Having never been rejected in such a way, I asked again saying something like we’ve both got to eat sometime and it’d be more fun to eat together than to eat alone. She only said ‘I’ve got to go,’ and walked of quickly.”
“Hmm… Yours is a sad story indeed, perhaps you really are cursed. I just hope it doesn’t rub off on me,” said Jason while laughing a bit.
“I just need… a change. I think I’m going to skip the rest of the week of classes, drive across the state to see my family. Maybe we can help each other through our grieving.”
“That sounds like a great idea Earl,” said Jason as he tried rolling his remaining two pennies across the road to the opposite sidewalk. They hit the road rolling and stopped just shy of the other side.
“You know Jason,” said Earl as he stopped walking, “Maybe it will be your pennies that bring happiness to someone’s day.”
“You should pick them up; maybe it’ll be the start of something good for you,” said Jason.
“Yes, it may very well me,” said Earl as he started across the road towards the pennies. Just then, a car going entirely too fast, came barreling over the hill and hit Earl head-on. His body was thrown the rest of the way across the street where he landed right by the pennies.
Jason screamed and ran towards him, just as the driver of the car got out and ran to Earl’s side.
Earl looked up at the driver and with his last word ever said, “…Lindsey?”
There was a passive look on Lindsey’s face as she kneeled down and picked up the two pennies. She smiled a bit and said “This will make sure he can pay the ferryman.” She then closed Earl’s eyes and placed the pennies into them.
Jason looked at Lindsey and said, “Well… he did say he wanted change.”

A Legend

2009-02-27T05:06:00.000-08:00

Hi guys. Meet the greatest footballer in the world, Cristiano Ronaldo.
"Real Madrid will have to pay 95 million pounds if they are to sign Cristiano Ronaldo next summer, according to reports in Spain."
We managed to grab hold of Wilson for a short interview. Here's a summary of what he said:
"First of all, go to hell Real Madrid. You guys can have all the players in the world, heck you can even have me. BUT, you guys will never be up there cuz you people don't know how to manage a club. My nephew could manage my school team and we'd still be better off than you. Even with CR, it won't stop you all from doing what you do best in football. Failure after failure after failure. It's written all over your faces."

Anyway, it's the weekend!
I'm gonna play a round of golf with my dad and his friends tomorrow at the KLGCC. Havn't played there for quite a while.
Just ate a regular Beef Pepperoni for dinner. No one was home, and I was lazy to drive out so I picked up the phone and dialled Pizza Hut
:)
Now, my tank is full. Time to turn on the TV for some little "entertainment". NO, NO, it's not what you think. Seriously, it's not. Haw haw haw haw haw.
The boy who ate pizza for dinner

2009-02-24T05:39:00.000-08:00

Finally. First round of tests have been completed.
About time I did something else besides facing a damn book.
I think I'm just gonna spend time with my computer tonight.
We just had a HUGE roast chicken for dinner. I swear that thing was twice the size of my head. And I had two bowls of mash potatoes.
Now, leave me alone :D
The Chicken Eater

2009-02-23T06:08:00.000-08:00

Lesson learnt. You don't always get what you want.
Stop being an idiot, Wilson :)

2009-02-20T18:05:00.000-08:00

Met up with the guys today for futsal.
I followed them to Rasta after dinner cuz I didn't feel like going home. I had to stay out, I think I've been spending spent too much time at home lately.
Went straight to sleep as soon as I got home. Well, shower first, then sleep :P
I'd love to go to BSI's Annual Sports Day but I'm not sure if I can wake up in the morning. Haha. I'll see how it goes.
Anyway, I think I need more sleep. Can't believe I woke up just to update this stupid blog. I'll post more later on if I'm still up for it.
Wilson

AHA

2009-02-19T00:52:00.000-08:00

Ok.
So the Accounts paper wasn't too bad.
I wouldn't say I'm satisfied overall cuz I didn't have enough time to check my answers.
Enough about studies. Lemme share my bus experience with you.
Today, I took the bus home with Tani and Roselyn. We were talking among ourselves, and this high school student in front of us kept on smiling. I don't know, but everytime we said something, he just smiled at us.
I mean, I know I'm funny. But, he smiled the entire trip home. Awesome.

Excited Bus Passenger

UGH

2009-02-18T04:27:00.001-08:00

Hello blog.
I have an Accounting test tomorrow :(
I hope I'll do well. But hey, it's just Trial Balances, Ledgers and Financial Statements right?
I think I spent way too long under the sun during my inaugural visit to the Malaysian Open.
I notice that I have dark patches over some parts of my body, then some parts are white.
I look like a Chocolate Vanilla Sundae, that's what I told Ijjie and Nicole the other day.
So, I'm feeling rather guilty now and I guess I should take a quick look at my Accounting book and make sure I know everything.
Stay tuned.

Wilson.

2009-02-17T19:17:00.000-08:00

Hello blog. It's been a while.

I'm getting ready for class. Thought I'd drop by to say hello. HELLO.

Last night, I had the weirdest dream ever.

I dreamt that I was at home, eating carrots. Lots of carrots. No, I'm not joking. The dining table had orange all over it. Orange, because carrots are orange in colour. It was damn weird, and disgusting. I never wanna eat carrots again. No, no more carrots for this boy here :(

Carrotphobia.

2008-09-02T06:48:00.001-07:00

This week = test week. It's gonna be one hell of a week. Read, eat, sleep, shit, read, eat, read, shit, sleep, read, read, shit, read, eat, sleep, read, read, read. Kinda used to this already. Well, I'm not gonna post until I'm done with my tests. Till then, don't do anything I wouldn't do

;)

2008-08-30T02:26:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, me played futsal. Me had jolly good time. Me scored many goals. Me quite happy. Wanna know more?

http://chakforce5.blogspot.com

Me tired. Me going out today. Me post more later.

By,
Me

I don't need a title

2008-08-28T07:21:00.000-07:00

So. I'm into blogging again. But I doubt this thing is gonna last long. Well, we won't know till the time comes. So while I'm still at it, enjoy all future posts.

Roflcakes and candy

2008-08-28T06:17:00.000-07:00

My dog, Sex
[I don't know who Ann Landers is, but she apparently wrote this article.]
Everybody who has a dog calls him ``Rover'' or ``Boy''. I call mine ``Sex''.
He's a great pal but he causes me a great deal of embarrassment.\\ When I went to the city hall to renew his dog licence, I told the clerk I would like a licence for Sex. He said ``I'd like one too!'' Then I said ``But this is a dog.'' He said he didn't care what she looked like. Then I said ``You don't understand. I've had Sex since I was nine years old.'' He winked and said ``You must have been quite a kid.''
``When I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took the dog with me. I told the motel clerk that I wanted a room for us and a special room for Sex.'' The clerk told me we wouldn't need a separate room; as long as we paid the bills they didn't care what we did. ``Look, you don't understand. Sex keeps me awake at night.'' The clerk said ``Funny, I have the same problem.''
One day I entered Sex in a contest but before the competition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just standing there, looking disappointed. I told him I had planned to have Sex in the contest. He told me I should have sold my own ticket. ``But you don't understand. I had planned to have Sex on TV.'' He said ``Now that cable is around, it's no big deal any more.''
``When my spouse and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said: ``Your Honour, I had Sex before I was married.'' The judge replied ``The courtroom is not a confessional. Stick to the case please.'' Then I told him that after I was married, Sex left me. He said ``Me too.''
Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking around town for him. A cop came over to me and asked ``What are you doing in this alley at 4 o'clock in the morning?'' I told him I was looking for Sex. My case comes up Friday.

Credits : Ann Landers